I’m grieving, and not in a way I found immediately obvious. Please allow me to explain.
A few years ago, my stable relationship ended. The person who had filled my needs for love, connection, companionship, and touch was gone. I was so used to having the person there and those needs filled, that when they left, it was jarring. Gone was my predictable world and this uncertainty brought up suffering. I was grieving what I once had.
Perhaps you’ve been there before? Even if you were the one who ended the relationship, you likely were still grieving the comfortable certainty you once had for those very human needs for love, connection, and companionship.
It was the second week of the Human Element Practitioner workshop, and I was in the shower trying to solve a mystery. Twice the day before my girlfriend (at the time) had been vulnerable with me and both times I’d made light of it. She got angry at me, I apologized, and then she got angry at me for not getting angry at her. I was frustrated and confused.
She was convinced that I had pent up anger at her and it was now coming out in other ways. She was convinced that I was “poking” at her in these moments of vulnerability because of built up anger or resentment. I didn’t think this was the case, but something didn’t feel right. I went over the clues in front of me:
At a hackfest in 2006
From 2006 to 2009 Jason Seifer was a close friend, and as of last Saturday he is no longer with us. I’m really sad about this. We made an amazing team those few years, co-founding a blog & business (Rails Envy), educating people on Ruby on Rails, and creating a bunch of funny videos. In early 2009 we had a falling out and because we didn’t account for what would happen if we hit a crossroads in our business. We had to shut down the blog and company we both had worked so hard to create. It sucked.
I regret the way things went down, which is part of the reason I was driven to create some videos on how to deal with equity more fairly. It might have saved our friendship. The following years I reached out to try to repair things, but he never was interested. I wish I would have tried harder. It sucks not having any more chances to repair the friendship, or at least an opportunity to say thank you.
The actual room at Pluralsight in Salt Lake City.
It was a Tuesday in late October 2015 and I was dreading the conversation I was about to have. I was sitting across from Aaron Skonnard (CEO) and Greg Woodward (CFO) of Pluralsight, two people who I had come to admire and respect. Unfortunately, I had to tell them that I wanted to leave the company, Code School, that they had acquired 12 months prior. I felt like I was going to be sick.
This summer I decided to stop working and give myself a mid-life (I just turned 39) summer vacation. After working hard over the last many years starting Envy Labs then Code School, it was definitely time for a reset. So I decided to take three months off and force myself not to work.
In case you’re not aware, I left Code School at the start of the summer. I gave 6 months notice and spent those 6 months learning about succession planning. Ashley Smith and Thomas Meeks are now leading the way at Code School, and I feel confident that great things will continue to happen there under their leadership.
Hello, my name is Gregg and I'm passionate about startups, explaining things on the Internet, being a father (8 and 10), and fostering self-awareness. Learn More
